Slice brings you another sneak peek at The Real Housewives of Vancouver. This time Jody, Christina and Ronnie dish on Botox. Ronnie plays the likeable voice of reason when saying, “Hey, I’ve had my day in the sun. I was 20 once.”  On the other hand, Jody almost had an orgasm when talking about getting the injections. “Look at me,” she squeals. “I’d look 90 if I didn’t have all this Botox in my face.”

So what do you think about The Real Housewives of Vancouver?

I ask because opinions will undoubtedly start rolling in after its premiere Wednesday night.

And because from the moment this show was announced it got people talking.

The first question was, really, Vancouver? Come on, we are not like that?

By that, I guess, people meant pneumatic women, sprayed a bronzy gold, toting around four-figured hand bags and battling with such big decisions as whether to put dressing on a salad at lunch or save those calories for a cocktail?

The next gossip-generating query was, who the heck were the RHOV?

I tell you I heard Jacki Cohen’s name mentioned so many times you’d think I was at the Army & Navy shoe sale.

Taliah Aquilini, wife of Canucks co-owner Francesco Aquilini, was also a name people were proposing. But considering her recent divorce news, prancing around Whistler in Prada and completely out of place platform pumps was probably a long way from her mind.

Once the names of the women – Reiko MacKenzie, Jody Claman, Ronnie Seterdahl Negus, Christina Kiesel and Mary Zilba – were announced, more stories started flowing.

And, boy, once we did a front page story about MacKenzie’s husband being none other than Sun News Lal who, back in 1994, was acquitted along with notorious crime boss Bindy Johal in Vancouver’s sensational gangland murder of brothers Jim and Ron Dosanjh (that murder trial gained notoriety when it was later revealed that juror Gillian Guess had an affair with co-defendant Peter Gill) people really waded in.

There are enough not so nice comments on our website to make anyone think twice about an alleged life of crime.

But MacKenzie wasn’t alone when it came to attracting ire. One woman phoned me up to trash talk Claman’s story. Of course, this woman would not give her name and wanted to know if I was taping the conversation. I was taping it and told her, but that didn’t seem to stop her from telling me she thought Claman had actually been married three times, not twice, and that other people lost money on a business venture she was involved in.

Shocking, I know.

Even Bruce Allen, local music manager and radio loudmouth, piled on, saying he had seen some of these women around, on the periphery of his social circle, but they were inconsequential. He also questioned Zilba’s claim of having a bunch of Top 40 Canadian musical hits to her credit and said she had even come to his office in a bid to make it big in the music business.

A favourite, though, is a missive I just received saying that one of the women was a lot older than she was claiming to be and that she had changed her name in order to hide her past identity as an employee of a downtown massage parlour.

A woman who agrees to be part of one of Real Housewives shows claiming to be younger than they are?

Again shocking, I know.

But whatever gossip or behind the scene shenanigans occur, the reality about this reality show is it has people talking and judging.

Seriously, what self-respecting woman would say the following out loud:

“The men I date are generally in the mining industry, which makes gold digging that much easier for me. I don’t need to carry a shovel.”

I know! The kind who is dying for attention and knows just how to get it. The quote is from Kiesel by the way.

As for me, I know I will be paying attention to the rest of the series, it’s my job. So, that said, after each episode check back here to see what I have learned from the latest installment in the RHOV.

For the record, what I learned from the first two episodes is for a good time go for “drunches” (think about it) with a boozy, rich, gay sidekick and always remember if your boobs are physically larger than the top of the dress you are wearing invest in some two sided tape.

Feel like dishing about The Real Housewives of Vancouver? Email me at dgee@theprovince.com or leave a comment below. 

What did I learn tonight from the third episode of The Real Housewives of Vancouver?

Well, I learned that Jody Claman regularly rubs diamond dust and whale sperm on her face in a bid to to look younger.

Yup forget about vitamin E. For Jody, it is vitamin DNA.

“If you come every three weeks you’ll look 12,” said Jody to spa neophyte Reiko MacKenzie as they underwent the special facials.

Never mind snake oil, this woman likes to go way bigger.

Now while the whale sperm infused facials (that explains why all those sperm whales seem to be smiling) are news to me the other reveal of the evening was the five women’s roles in the show.

Mary Zilba, is going to be the nice girl with a target on her back.

Reiko is down-to-earth, well as down to earth as anyone who is worried that her martial arts workouts will ruin her Botox can be.

Ronnie Seterdahl Negus, who is designing a 15,000 square-foot ocean front house is the pot stirrer that takes no responsibility for

Ronnie

her actions. And tonight those actions included circulating embarrassing pictures of Christina Kiesel and getting smashed during the day and blaming Mary for being over-served.

“I can drink two bottles, two glasses I am just getting started,” said Ronnie before making Mary out to be Dr. Conrad Murray to her Michael Jackson.

It seems Christina Kiesel is the least complicated of the five. She is a good time girl who loves men and needs them to support her endeavors, which include drinking, and shopping for a $35,000 horse.

“I think we should celebrate riding something four legged not two,” said Christina to her boozy gay sidekick Kevin Chase as they piled out of a white Rolls Royce and teetered towards a barn.

Christina says the best cure for a hangover is heading to the country to ride horses. Christina also thinks the country is Southlands. City girl.

But the most defined and unwavering of these five women is Jody. Imagine an old-timey Hollywood actress (evidenced by her love of tiaras and the words “sweet cheeks”) then mix in Miss Manners and one of Marge Simpson’s sisters and you have Jody.

“Someone has to tell Christina she has to grow up and I’m the one to do it,” said Jody who was wearing black fuzzy slippers out to lunch.

But darrrrlings they were Prada slippers.

Feel like dishing about The Real Housewives of Vancouver? Email me at dgee@theprovince.com or leave a comment below. 

To see more photos of the Real Housewives of Vancouver click here.

It was party time on episode four of The Real Housewives of Vancouver.

There was a party at Jody Claman’s house, a party at Mary Zilba’s house and a party at Reiko MacKenzie’s house.

But in the end there was no real fun had by the most important people, the viewers.

The most drama was of the high school kind when Jody, the self-appointed doyen, decided that Christina and Mary were not worthy of invites to a party to celebrate Jody’s daughter Mia’s 25th birthday.

The birthday party looked more like backstage at a Bob Mackie knock-off fashion show than a 25-year-old’s party. Seriously what’s with all the bejeweled dresses? Three words: Little black dress.

“I hope Mia realizes how much effort and money went into this,” said Jody after announcing she had been in the kitchen for 16 hours.

Wow, 16 hours.

Hmmm,  if Jody is the businesswoman she likes to remind everyone she is you would think she would have asked the house full of minions for some money back.

In the end, the fete was more frump as the only remotely entertaining event was Jody (remember she’s the classy one) presented the hired DJ with an offer anyone in their right mind would refuse.

“I’ll sell you my daughter,” said Jody laughing (or was that barking). “She is very inexpensive. I’ll pay you $30,000 a month to marry her.”

Yes, Mia looks very expensive what with those fur cuffs (no sleeves) she loves to sport.

Back in Yaletown, Mary’s response to Jody (who Mary earlier dubbed “the queen of mean”) was to have her own outcast get together.

“Not a pity party but an instead of party,” said Mary about her Lebanese food-themed get together.

Now Lebanese,  in this case, was just a suggestion.

“Mary we are here for the Lebanese festival,” said everyone’s favourite boozy gay sidekick Kevin Chase as he walked into Mary’s apartment dressed like a Sultan with a burka-clad Christina in tow.

Flash forward to the dinner and the only interesting thing here was that Christina had shed the burka for an I Dream of Jeannie outfit.

After all you can’t keep a sexy girl down.

Actually that was a bit of theme for Christina this time out. She decided that Jody’s recent bullying of her was a call to action for her to toughen up.

A boxing workout and some hypnotherapy were had.

“I have started boxing to help address some of my bullying issues,” said Christina who admitted to being bullied as a kid.

“I was like the wounded gazelle,” added Christina who had to admit she wore giant headgear to school.

Giant head gear? Isn’t Christina 30? How giant was the orthodontic gear when she was a young teen? Just saying.

Anyway Christina hit the hypnotherapists couch and admitted while laying down she felt relaxed. Well her brain was relaxed. Her boobs on the other hand still stood up straight enough to support a parked bike.

As for party number three it had a legitimate excuse for inducing yawning. It was at a daytime kid and pool affair at Reiko’s house.
Reiko wisely decided to leave to leave ostentatiousness in the garage with her stable of suped-up sports cars.

One of which Jody enjoyed a little too much while being whizzed around a racetrack with a box of tissues in her lap a bit earlier in the show.

“Sitting in a car going extremely fast is quite a horny experience,” said Jody.

Yes, that Jody. You know, the classy one.

Other activities on the snoozy show had Mary hitting the studio for a little songwriting and vodka drinking.

She said it was productive but who knows. I guess we will have to wait until later in the series to hear her new song about “Hope.”

After the usual snipping and snapping, Ronnie is still pissed at Mary for Mary letting Ronnie (in Ronnie’s mind of course) get pissed.

Jody, well, she seems to hate anyone having fun so Christina’s act makes her crazy.

But sadly for entertainment’s sake Jody’s crazy simply turned into a bipolar expedition.

Reiko called all the “ladies,” together for a dinner out. Everyone except Mary (she had a toothache) showed up.

The dinner started strong, that is strong for the viewer who likes their goofy reality TV on the no you just didn’t side.

“It’s Christina’s chastity belt,” said Jody referring to a necklace that was so big and gaudy that even Joan Rivers would say, “too much bitch.”

However Christina didn’t bite (good girl, but boring TV girl) and succumbed to Jody and apologized for bringing up Mia when last they met.

Then voila, glasses were clinked and all was good.

Yawn.

Feel like dishing about The Real Housewives of Vancouver? Email me at dgee@theprovince.com or leave a comment below.

The B.C. Lions unveiled their new uniforms today and that got me to thinking what would the kits look like for the Real Housewives of Vancouver (RHOV), as the five ladies have apparently split into Team Ronnie (Seterdahl Negus) and Team Mary (Zilba) factions after the two RHOV women laid to waste a 17-year friendship in a big blowup on last week’s show.

For Team Mary’s jersey, I picture a powder blue number with a picture of a kitten hanging from a branch with the words “Hang in there, baby,” printed across the back.
Team Ronnie’s jersey would be fire engine red with a picture of fellow RHOV Jody Claman aggressively wagging a French-manicured finger.

The teams were chosen, if you will, at the end of last week’s episode five when Mary and Ronnie had a rip-roaring fight in a suite in a downtown hotel.

“It was a canine re-enactment of what happened at the hotel,” said Christina when her and Mary’s dogs had a snarling fight while the two women sat and chatted on the beach at the beginning of tonight’s show.

“Ronnie she looked like a pit bull that was ready to snap and chew anything that was in her way,” said Mary.
But the funny thing is, to this pair and to anyone who watched the episode, it was obvious that last week Ronnie came to the hotel lit up up like a Christmas tree and loaded for bear. But maybe it is a forest-for-the-trees thing, as tonight it was clear that Jody Claman and Reiko MacKenzie have both signed up for Team Ronnie and both think Mary might be a bit  unbalanced.

“You know they say you never come to this earth and take more than you give,” said Ronnie before professing in classic RHOV on-camera interview style that Jody was truly her BFF.

OK, I have no idea who the “they” are, but whoever “they” are they have Ronnie’s ear.

“Being called an alcoholic was below the belt,” said Ronnie, who also suggested that Mary could potentially turn violent.

But thankfully Jody was nearby with some words of wisdom.

“I always believe that sorry is a wonderful word,” said Jody in her wonderfully put-on voice (she falls in and out of that accent like she’s Keanu Reeves doing Shakespeare in the park).

Now Jody (bless her snobby self) was sadly a minor player in last night’s show. Hmm, funny I never thought I would utter the words “I miss Jody Claman,” but hey, I never thought I would say, “Boy, I am glad the conservatives won in Alberta,” either. Hmm, c’est la vie.

Over on Mary’s roster for this week’s team sports was the wonderfully goofy (sorry, I see goofy before I see sexy) Christina Kiesel, who tried to woo Reiko over to Team Mary by playing, literally, at Reiko’s games. First up it was Reiko’s workout with her mean trainer. He made Christina go do pushups out on the sidewalk after the cut-from-steel and enhanced by Dow Reiko kicked her ass doing a sort of burpees race. This was not easy for Christina as she was paying the price for the previous evening’s very long (into the a.m.) date.

“I was so hung over I threw up twice just driving to dojang,” said Christina, adding, “I imagine hell to be skipping rope.”

Not one to give up, Christina got Reiko together with Mary and the trio headed out on the Stanley Park seawall. Funny thing is, it turns out that riding a bike is not like, well, riding a bike. They teetered, weaved and even rode the wrong way around the park.

“Christina looks like she is doing a tampon commercial or something, she looks so perfect,” said Reiko about the skirt-wearing Christina as the Viking-like woman rode her bike right into Mary.

“I think I just got a f#%ck you from someone,” said Mary, grinning and laughing as she continued riding the wrong way in the bike lane.

But despite the two-wheeled hijinks and bite to eat afterwards, Reiko wasn’t going to switch sides (she said she didn’t see Ronnie shove Mary from the elevator during the hotel incident, despite actually putting herself between the pair). She was too busy with such pressing concerns as learning how to model for a fashion show at the big fancy car thingy event she has been going on about for the past two episodes.

Christina moved on and managed to put aside her concern for poor all-alone Mary long enough to go on a date. The guy she was with, someone called David, seemed really familiar.

“In my future life I’d like to come back as a female’s bike seat,” said David when Christina told him she had been bike riding earlier.

That’s it. That’s when it dawned on me. I am pretty sure I had seen this d-bag on an episode of Millionaire Matchmaker getting his date drunk and then breaking all Patty’s rules and shagging her.

Anyway, with RHOV ranks split, a special event was needed to get the gang all together and hopefully get them to fight. So that event was Reiko’s catwalk coming out, where of course the other women were all seated together in the front row. Reiko, crazy Stepford Wife hair aside, did fine strutting her stuff. But Ronnie (whose other episode six activities included working on the marketing for her new wine, which at the time was weirdly going to be called Rehab), it seems was surprised by some aspects of the fashion show.

“I didn’t know that Asians came in that size,” said Ronnie, whose team might also include Klan members. “When I think of Asians I think small. There was one Asian who was extraordinary tall. This woman is like 6-foot-1.”

OK, then.

The fashion show aside, the women were free to roam Van Dusen Gardens and look at the super cars that had been parked and polished. Everything was fine until Mary and her entourage entered a booze tent where the other RHOV cast members were enjoying a drink. Faster than you can say, “Life is too short for bad hair extensions,” self-appointed mean girl Jody snapped her fingers and moved Team Ronnie out of the tent with military precision.

Mary was obviously irked but not bowed. And like the Team Mary jersey kitty, she dug in her claws and hung in there.

“Having Christina makes me feel confident to win this war,” she said.

It was like the wild, wild west tonight on The Real Housewives of Vancouver as guns, booze and a bull played major roles in the seventh episode of the Slice Network reality show.
The main party trick this week was Ronnie Seterdahl Negus’s cowboy-themed birthday bash at the Bourbon in downtown Vancouver.
The gang including Mary Zilba (remember her and Ronnie came to big blows when last they met up) convened at the Pan Pacific for a pre-party party and in the case of Jody Claman and her daughter Mia a good old fashioned mean-girl meet up. And yes, Mary was once again the brunt of the bleached blonde bobbsey twins’ ire.
This time the mother and daughter team made it clear they didn’t like the plaid cowboy shirt (tied just above her waist) that Mary was wearing.
“I was appalled. Tummy tuck or no tummy tuck it’s not appropriate, ” said Jody making Mary out to be some sort of Daisy Duke-like stripper.
Not sure if fashion (age appropriate or otherwise) was really Jody’s best play considering she looked like she took a wrong turn on a Hollywood backlot and strolled right by Dodge City and ended up in early 20th century Russia.
“Was that a hat or a f@$#king ad for waxing,” said everyone’s favourite gay sidekick Kevin Chase about the giant black, fur cylinder Jody had perched on top of her head.
“This is a Jewish condom, okay,” said Jody referring to her hairy hat.
Now I am not Jewish, so I have no idea what she is talking about. But I am learning that Jody and Mia take their religious and cultural backgrounds very seriously. Case in point: earlier in the show Jody told Mia that Mary has said the pair were not  Jewish. Well that set the fur on Mia’s omnipresent fur cuffs flying and she and her mother cornered Mary at the Bourbon bar.
Needless to say there was plenty of hand waving, finger pointing, hair flipping, voice raising and of course a  housewife fleeing.
All that happened after the gang seemed to bond over time spent on the mechanical bull.
Ronnie (who was also busy trying to figure out the wine business during this episode) managed the bull okay. Kevin thought that if you pat it it would be less, well bucky, I guess.
But the the queen of the 1980s pastime was  clearly Christina Kiesel.
The long flowing skirt and skimpy tank top didn’t stop this tall drink of water from showing her stuff. But luckily not all her stuff.
“Really glad that I am wearing panties,” said Christina.
No kidding, ’cause frankly I think I had already heard and saw enough of Christina earlier in the episode when the too fun to take too seriously divorcee was out in the woods playing with boys and guns.
On her second date with the creepy David (remember he was the guy from Millionaire Matchmaker and everyone knows the guys from that show are always soooo creepy) the agenda included an escorted ride into the woods where the pair met up with guys who look like they were on a sabbatical from Blackwater Security or some other private military contracting company.
On hand was Zoran a stout man with an Eastern European (I htink) accent,  a military-issue haircut, full fatigues and enough high powered weapons to support the Trump boys on one of their African hunting trips.
“Alright I am sufficiently turned on now,” said Christina who was sporting a tight see-through turtleneck, tight leather pants and a tight ponytail that David liked to tug on.

“That’s quite sexy,” said Christina when Zoran pulled a big 12 gauge shotgun. “It’s like what I imagine having a penis is like.”
Not grossed out yet?
“Christina dear you’ve got the bending over alright but what about the pumping,” said David.
Eeuuuwww.
And on that note…

Sometimes a gal just has to get away and cover herself  in yellow mud, drink some blue booze and forget all about the dark clouds at home.
That was the case for Mary Zilba during episode eight of The Real Housewives of Vancouver tonight.

The dark clouds that had Mary on the run were the tiny, easily wound-up Jody Claman and her daughter Mia.
“She thinks she’s the Queen of England, but she has a small store that sells second hand goods in West Vancouver,” said Mary about Jody who owns the Glass House boutique in West Vancouver.
So a fed up Mary decided it was time to get away. And the producers of the show obviously decided it was time to see the other Mexican bound RHOV Christina Kiesel in a bikini.
“I am so excited to go to Mexico a Jody and Mia free zone,” said Mary about her getaway to Tulum, Mexico with Christina, Christina’s tells-it-like-is saucy, gay sidekick Kevin Chase and their friend Marika Palmer.
If the show lives up to the real part of its name Mary has good reason to want to avoid time with Jody and her crazy spawn. Last week the pair cornered Mary at Ronnie Seterdahl Negus’s cowboy themed birthday bash and gave her a good verbal whupping.
Then tonight Jody continued her bizarre treatment of Mary when the gang was all out for dinner at Tojos. Ladies have you never picked up the bill there? I am guessing not because if you had you certainly wouldn’t ruin a night there with a name calling session.
The problem started when Jody refused to share a simple social grace with Mary.
“It’s very bad luck to cheers somebody you don’t like. I don’t cheers her,” said Jody her nose reaching straight up to the ceiling.
Yes it turns out the Jody is still pissed about the whole Mary doesn’t think they are Jewish thing.
Jody called Mary an embarrassment (to whom not sure) and Mary called Jody a phoney. And then Jody hopped in her town car and sped off into the night just like a dark cloud caught in (you know what) storm.
Mary then decided a quick trip to the sun was needed. However if she was looking to feel better about herself I would not have gone bath suit shopping with Christina and that body of hers. Nope.
Bathing suit shopping was followed by spray tans and a very early flight.
“Kevin and I are not morning people,” said Christina, who surely surprised not one viewer with that fact.
Once in the Sun the gang had a two hour limo ride to their resort. And of course there was champagne. I think that is a rich rule or something.
The best line of the boozy ride came from the boozy sidekick.
“I thought I was in bed with Sugar Ray Leonard,” said Kevin referring to Christina’s spray tan and I guess their sleepover the prior to flying.
Finally at their Mexican hideout (Jody and Ronnie had no idea the gang had gone without them) Mary, it seemed, got what she came for a stress-free good time.
“We’re all happy, everybody is happy,” said Mary. “Miss conservative Mary decided to let it all go, leave it all behind and have a good time.”
Which included sun, surf and a Mayan mud purification ritual that seemed more like a gay guy gets to touch boobies ritual.
“I feel the most happy I have been in many years,” said Mary after the gang coated in mud cleansed their skin and souls in the ocean. “It feels like a million miles away from Vancouver and I have left all my troubles behind.”
Hello, Mary if you think that Jody is going to let go of that bone I think you should lay off the blue booze and get out of the sun.
And of course we weren’t disappointed by Jody’s villainous ways as she ran right to Ronnie (who if you remember last week was busy working on launching her wine company) that the gang had gone without her and that Mary was developing her OWN alcoholic beverage.
Yes apparently if one friend tries to launch a wine company another can’t launch a cooler company. I think it’s got something to do with that whole mixing the drinks thing?
“I think this speaks volumes about Mary,” said Ronnie, perfectly setting up yet another fight (to be seen next week no doubt) between the two old and really bestest friends.
Oh before I forget, in case you are wondering if Reiko finally did something interesting, well, not really. But I will say the mixed, marital artist, supercar-driving alleged gangster’s wife did stand up to Jody. But I am afraid that bit of spunk was canceled out by the fact we had to watch her try a bike out. Of course it was an expensive custom road bicyle. But still more talk about wheeled vehicles and composites.Yawn.

dgee@theprovince.com

twitter.com/dana_gee

Okay ever since I started blogging about The Real Housewives of Vancouver quite a few, shall we say, colourful emails and comments have come my way.

Usually they are slightly vitriolic rants against plastic surgery, questionable morals and flat out spoiled and snooty behaviour. And of course there are the skeleton in the closet people who obviously have some sort of personal issues with those on the Slice TV show.

However, occasionally someone comes clean and admits they like the show and more importantly they get that the show isn’t a documentary and that it is not meant to change the world (mind you thanks to all the other RHO Wherever franchises the concept of a “Real Housewife,” has been etched into the pop culture dictionary). To these viewers it is as obvious as Jody Claman’s omnipresent saucer-sized sunglasses that RHOV is simply just brain candy. There is no need for heavy lifting.

So long story short, I get emails and comments about the show and my favourite so far is from a woman (let’s call her Susan) in the Maritime region of our country.

Susan it seems is not happy with RHOV cast member Ronnie Seterdahl Negus. The richest of the bunch, or so it looks like in the show. Ronnie and her husband Russell have a compound of four houses on the water in Lions Bay. In one episode it was revealed that Ronnie and Russell are planning to build a monster mansion on the their Howe Sound-edged property.

A big bragging right for Ronnie is her waterside tennis court. She challenges anyone to find another, more picturesque playing surface. Yes, it sure is pretty, but as email writer Susan pointed out it is also problematic.

The problem it appears is that Ronnie’s tennis guests don’t all have the last name of Nadal, Federer or Williams. So needless to say there are some wild shots and balls get hit into the ocean. When that has happened on the show Ronnie quickly points out that each of those balls cost $10.

Well Susan would like to point out there is a much bigger to cost of those balls landing in the drink.

Here’s the email:

May 16, 2012

Why is the province not fining Ronnie for allowing tennis balls being hit into the water, is this not a concern for the environment or marine life? I believe she (Ronnie) could afford a barrier to stop this on her tennis court. Shame on her and the show for allowing this to happen , and then worry that the balls cost $ 10.00 each. How much will it cost the environment?

dgee@theprovince.com

twitter.com/dana_gee

Fans of any of the Real Housewives shows know they are not officially over for a season until the Botoxed ladies sing.

Okay they don’t really sing, although you just know The Countess from the New York show and that wig-wearing Atlanta RH Kim would warble out their soul sucking songs “Money Can’t Buy You Class,” and “Tardy for the Party,” at the drop of pair of plate-sized sunglasses.

By singing I mean sniping, sneering and some screaming during the traditional season-ending Reunion Shows The Real Housewives franchise loves.

Whether or not our very own Real Housewives of Vancouver will be brought back together for some dishing, digging and disappointing behaviour is yet to be known. Messages to the rather elusive Slice network regarding a Reunion Show and the RHOV were left unanswered at press time.

So for fun let’s assume the Canadian contingent is going to follow the template set south of the border and Ronnie Seterdahl Negus, Jody Claman, Mary Zilba, Reiko MacKenzie and Christina Kiesel come back together (word on the street is they can’t stand the sight of each other) for a proper Housewives finale in five weeks time.

Those who follow the other Housewives know the reunion shows are hosted by the likeable Andy Cohen. The boyish Cohen is not only a talk show host (Watch What Happens Live) and author (Most Talkative: Stories from the Front Lines of Pop Culture), but he is the executive vice-president of development and talent at the Bravo cable network, the home to the Housewives franchise.

But RHOV is Canadian so the Reunion Show should have a Canadian host, right? Who then? Well, aside from me (oooohhh I’d love that, except of course I am allergic to any form of be-jeweled clothing), how about someone who really knows his Housewives inside and out (no, I am not talking about one of Christina’s dates).

I am talking Kyle Archibald the host of the YouTube hit The Unofficial Real Housewives of Vancouver After Show.Kyle would be perfect for this gig.

Kyle’s funny, no-holds-barred show brings him together with pals J. Cameron Barnett, Meaghan Kennedy and Lynn Van Dove for 20 or so minutes of RHOV discussion, well mostly discussion. There’s a drinking game, a contest for “Queen Bee of the Week,” and the panel decides whether or not a situation on the show was “fierce or triflin.”

I’ve watched and I have to admit I still am not quite sure what qualifies as fierce or triflin, but to be fair it doesn’t really matter when you have a panelist who admits to quitting a job to become a full-time pinata maker. Come on, that’s just funny.

“What I thought would be me sitting in front of an iPhone has grown to three camera people, lighting, sound guy, editing and all this is happening for free,” said Kyle, who added his only expense (aside from some snappy wardrobe pieces) is the $90 a week he forks over to rent lighting.

“It’s been really awesome,” said Kyle about his YouTube success (36,000 views). “I’ve been contacted by all the Housewives, except Jody.”

The After Show shoots on Thursday nights in front of a live audience. Usually that happens at Aphrodite’s Cafe and Pie Shop, which Kyle manages.

This week though in an exciting turn the show has got a sponsor and is going on the road to the Yaletown gym Body Tune.

So why Real Housewives for Kyle?

“I love watching the housewives,” said Kyle who watches all the other RH series. “I don’t have anything against these women, I don’t know them. They are just characters on TV I like to comment on.”

So what are some of those comments?

Well, according to Kyle “Mary gets it and ” Reiko has been nothing but “nice.”

Ronnie according to Kyle is taking the show too seriously.

“She always hits me with these twitter messages, saying ‘I hear you’ve been talking shit about me on twitter, WTF,’” said Kyle laughing.

“Really, why do you care who I am and what I am saying,” said Kyle. “Really Ronnie you have mansions you take float planes, you have five kids and one is special needs and you really care what I think. Really.”

As for the big blonde bombshell and man eater known as Christina, Kyle says what you see is what you get.

“Christina I have run into a couple times and she is the hottest mess I have ever seen and I love it,” said Kyle, who added she recently took home an heir to a big box building chain. According to Kyle Christina was “doing it right,” wink, wink.

And what about everyone’s favourite bleach-blonde bully Jody?

“She blocked me on Twitter, right off the hop,” said Kyle. “You know what is so funny to me, her mom Elizabeth likes me on Facebook.”

So what if Kyle (who admits to PVR’ing and watching every talk show you can think of) actually got to host a RHOV Reunion Show?

“It’s not a show about me,” said Kyle. “I am the host there to ask the questions viewers want to hear.”

So who do does Kyle think the viewers want to know the most about?

“I think they want to know about Jody and her motivation and if she knew what she was doing. They want to know why she was saying and doing those things,” said Kyle, adding he has heard through people who know the pint-sized troublemaker that it’s all an act for Miss Jody. “I kind of feel she is the only one who watched the other shows and so she brought it. She said I’ll be the villain, I’ll get the most publicity.

“Great, good for her. To me she’s the smartest out of the four of them.”

dgee@theprovince.com

twitter.com/dana_gee

Happy birthday to Mary, happy birthday to her.
Yup it was Mary Zilba’s birthday tonight on episode nine of the The Real Housewives of Vancouver.
“I feel like I am a bud that is ready to blossom,” said Mary getting all Oprah on us while still unwinding in Tulum, Mexico. “I feel like everything is starting over for me.”

Good weather, good food, good friends (including RHOV cast mate Christina Kiesel and her boozy gay sidekick Kevin Chase and crazy dancer Marika Palmer) and of course that Mayan purification ritual from last week all go a long way to a gal feeling groovy.
“It feels like I am a million miles away from Vancouver and I have left all my troubles behind,” said Mary.
Then, da da da dum. A text from the world’s most inconsistent BFF Ronnie Seterdahl Negus.
“Typical Ronnie still creates drama thousands of miles away,” said Christina referring to Ronnie’s pointed punctuation-laden text.
But it was Mary’s b-day and nothing not even a bomb-tossing bestie could shake Mary’s mojo
And what better way to celebrate your birthday then to frolic in the ocean in your birthday suit (or pretty damn close to your birthday suit) with a gigantic, busty blonde?
Now I can understand your mind racing with racy thoughts, it’s Christina after all, but hold on tiger the semi-nude water action was for a photo shoot for Mary’s new Romulan ale-like tequila drink Blue Tulum. And for the record Mary didn’t start off as part of the shoot. In fact she started off trying to make Christina keep it on.
Mary tried to keep Christina “PG.”
Yeah good luck,  ’cause in Christina’s world PG stands for party girl.
“I think Christina is very comfortable in her skin,” said Mary.
Yeah she’s comfortable in her skin because that’s what the likable hot mess is in most of the time, just her skin.
“As far as I’m concerned G is a spot not a rating,” purred the giant blonde bombshell proving my point.
After much back arching and lower lip biting by Christina the photographer suggested that Mary get in on the action and faster than you can say I used to be a pop star and a beauty pageant queen Mary is out of her cutoffs, topless and wrapped up in chiffon with Christina.
Wow Mary, Church Lady one minute and then topless, booze-selling beach bunny the next? Huh I guess that’s what they mean by making love to the camera.
The photo shoot wrapped, the Mexico gang enjoy their last night out on the town which included birthday wishes and a very good impression of Jody Claman by Mary. Seriously she should be able to do a good Jody considering the pint-sized piranha has made a reality TV career out of verbally attacking Mary.
But all good things must come to an end.
Back in Vancouver Christina decides she wants to find out why Jody is always hating on Mary.
“She’s like a nuclear waste plant she’s always has meltdowns in public,”  Jody tells Christina. “She is like Chernobyl she is always yelling and screaming.
“Mary let’s go to the cubicle and I can cram your head in the toilet.”
Yup Jody earned her villian paycheque tonight.
Next on her to do list is to fight with Mary in person again.
Yes, for some nutty reason Mary decides to meet up with Jody.
And guess what? The crazy continues as Jody in her full regalia of some weird piece of fur-adorned jacket,  bad hair extensions and ridiculous sunglasses decides to deny to she ever said anything to Chrsitina involving putting Mary’s head in a toilet.
“That’s not the way I speak,” said Jody obviously forgetting about the cameras that have been following her around.
Then once again she gets up and leaves.
But this is Jody and if ever there was a dog with a bone it’s this puny pit bull.
Next stop for her hate parade is a shopping outing that Christina sets up for the ladies.
Funny thing was Jody and her daughter Mia showed up looking, as Christina said, like some sort of Muppet people,  but acting like monsters of the non-foam variety.
Sniping here, there and everywhere the dynamic blonde you know whats went after Mary again, but this time the game was upped as Jody delivered into Mary’s hands what appeared to be “papers,” telling her to cease and desist talking about Jody’s store.
“Sorry Mary hopefully you learn from it,” said Jody as she handed mary an envelope and then turned on her heels and strode out of the dressing room.
Yes, maybe Mary will learn and she will stay the heck away from Jody.
Funny thing though, this reality TV and that is about as likely as Jody taking off those sunglasses.
In other action Ronnie Seterdahl Negus insulted a working mother and Reiko MacKenzie once again blabbered on about her cars and carbon fibre.
“When you own so many luxury cars it’s hard to choose which one to drive,” said Reiko who on this difficult decision making ocassion decided to ride what she calls her extreme $8,000 road bike.
For goodness sakes sweetie its the Real Housewives you are on not Top Gear.
dgee@theprovince.com
twitter.com/dana_gee

Ronnie Seterdahl Negus summed up it up best tonight on the latest episode of The Real Housewives of Vancouver.
“Here we go again, it never ends,” said Ronnie in reference to yet another Jody Claman and Mary Zilba face-off, or as I like to call it the most entertaining part of the RHOV series.
This time out the backdrop for the drama was delivered at Mary’s tuberous sclerosis benefit event at Chinois restaurant.
What should have been a nice get together with a personal touch in the form of Mary singing a song she wrote about her son Chase (who has tuberous sclerosis) turned into a Claman clan removal.
In the spirit of the RHOV all-for-one and all for living up to the performance contract Mary invited Jody (despite weeks of battles) to the event. The fly in the ointment however was Jody’s insistence that her daughter Mia attend with her despite Mia being banned by the restaurant co-owner Peter Gergis. It seems  Mia was involved in  some sort of wine bottle-tossing fiasco at another Gergis’s establishments a couple of years back.
“Mia will not be coming, she will not be part of the event,” said Mary earlier in the show when meeting with Gergis to plan the evening.
Well, Mary darling one should never speak too soon when it comes to the Claman gals.
Yes, Mia (even though she protested going to the event to her mother) pulled on an outfit that looked like it came from a Patti Labelle estate sale and along with her mother and another pair of overly bejeweled blondes made their entrance just as Mary was about to sing. And by entrance I mean they walked right in front of the stage and then stood just a few feet from Mary and her microphone.
“Having Jody and her blonde gang stare me down is somewhat nerve wracking,” said Mary.
But however she felt Mary put it aside and did her number to cheers and support from the packed room.
The good vibe soon cooled as the staff were alerted to Mia’s presence and her and her gang of wacky wing women were asked to leave.
“I can always count on Mia and Jody to ruin a good event,” said Mary when she found out the Claman’s had been bounced.
Jody in her true-to-form personal insight-lacking style was shocked. Apparently after 50 years on this planet she has never been asked to leave any “environment.”
Jody’s shock was not shared by others.  In fact some even questioned that maybe Mary might have even had a hand in give the blonde posse a push out the door.
That would be great news especially heading into next week’s season finale.
In case you were wondering, other action on the show included Mia launching her new fashion line M.I.A. Missing in Action by Claman Couture at her mother’s West Vancouver boutique.
The party featured a fashion show, I think. You see all you could see were tall, skinny girls in top knots and bright red lips teetering their way down a narrow staircase then through a very packed room full of cocktail party guests. I am assuming they had clothes on?
Mia thought it was just like how Coco Chanel used to do it in her 31 Rue Cambon in Paris apartment/atelier back in the day.
Well you gotta give a girl props for dreaming big.
In Ronnie’s world her wine still tasted bad. Christina Kiesel proved she is much better at purring then painting and the always nice and normal Reiko MacKenzie bored us with a tour of an empty room she was considering for a fitness club business.
In the end the question is how will this successful season of RHOV end up?
Hey, here’s a thought maybe in next week’s finale Reiko will finally snap and go all mixed martial arts on Jody’s likely to be fur-covered ass.
My rhinestone ring-covered fingers are crossed.
dgee@theprovince.com
twitter.com/dana_gee

Tonight’s season finale of The Real Housewives of Vancouver ended in an assassination.
And like some dictator on the run, Jody Claman ended up bloodied and hit multiple times as the remaining RHOV women took direct aim at the crazy fur-covered imp from West Vancouver and let her have it right square in the centre of those garbage can lid-sized sunglasses.
Now if you think this might be a bit mean (four against one),  well take a minute and reminisce about the season and Jody and her daughter Mia.
“What you see is what you get,” said Mia tonight. “You either like us or you don’t. There are lots that do and lots that don’t.”
Oh my little bejeweled big mouth I am guessing that after 13 episodes of this show the latter part of that statement is the winner.
Funny thing is if you blocked out the Jody and Mia show from your memory just tonight’s 42 minutes of fun would be enough to make Hannibal Lector cringe.
“They are narcissistic and psychopaths,” said Christina Kiesel describing the mother and daughter team.  “And they are greedy. There’s nothing worse than a greedy narcissistic psychopath.”
The show opened with a look back to the pair getting bounced from Mary Zilba’s charity event last week.
“Turf that sequins and applique to the curb,” Kevin Chase, everyone’s favourite boozy gay sidekick said after Mia and her fuzzy mama were asked to leave.
But the funny (hmmmm not ha ha) thing  is back at casa del Jody the party recap was lacking in any trace of personal insight. I swear those two are like Bonnie and Clyde, but with bad hair extensions.
“Who kicks out a young girl from a charity event,” said Mia.
Umm the owner of the joint who told us previously that in the past Mia was behind some mayhem at his other establishments.
The next stop on the Party Until We Piss Everyone Off Parade was Ronnie’s launch of her (fictional) wine Rehab.
Well let’s see what did those kooky Claman gals get up to? Well Jody told Urban Rush’s Fiona Forbes that her arms were fat and that her pal Mary was disgusting. Mia screamed at some some friend of Reiko’s and in front of a packed room pretended she was puking. Finally feeling a chill the Claman’s disembarked but not before Jody randomly yelled that Reiko cheats on her husband.
And there you have it another fun time brought to you by Thing 1 and Thing 2.
But while we have grown accustomed to Jody not owning any of her BS and merrily moving through her life, we were finally rewarded with a nice surprise.
Ronnie I don’t know sobered up or just plain woke up and realized that Jody is a jerk and planned her own special lunch.
All the women convened downtown and it was mere seconds before they went after Jody, which was risky I think considering she looked like a polar bear in a some giant, floor-length white fur coat.
“Take off your sunglasses,” Mary barked at Jody.
Yeah.
“I always wear sunglasses its sort of a trademark,” said Jody.
Hey wait a minute Muammar I thought you had eye issues.
From there the women picked apart Jody’s stories and demanded that she face the music. Why did she over charge Reiko? Why did she spread the rumour Christina was a $10,000 a night hooker? But the best was the whole Mary had been trash talking Jody’s store and saying that  Jody sold used goods.
“We do not,” said the imperious little Jody about her stock of Hermes bags. “We buy them from a vintage shop in Paris.”
Kaboom, whammo, holly sh#%t. Mary’s face lit up like a Christmas tree as all the other women in unison (that’s how I heard it anyway) yelled out that vintage does mean  second hand.
Ronnie listened and then calmly asked Jody to apologize to each of the other women.
Guess what? Yup, no apologies.
“Somebody at this table is going to wish the they never met me. Somebody at the this table thought it would make a funny joke to make a fool of me and my family,” said Ronnie glaring at Jody.
Ronnie was pissed about the behaviour of Mia and Jody at her party.
Jody trapped like a rat in a bucket did what any good mother does and she threw her own daughter under the bus saying Mia was the one who yelled at Reiko. And yes once again it was apparent that Jody has no concept of the purpose of recording devices.
Finally after the shouting and the shrugging of shoulders Ronnie put a tombstone on this story and the season.
“I will never speak to you again after today,” said Ronnie to a dumbstruck Jody.
And it turns out they haven’t.
Should make for an interesting reunion show next week. So stay tuned.
dgee@theprovince.com
twitter.com/dana_gee

So the first season of The Real Housewives of Vancouver has wrapped. All that is left is for the women to melt down in front of the cameras on Wednesday during the reunion show.

So, readers of this blog know I  have spent the last 12 weeks or so having some fun with the reality show. And like the genre itself the blog wasn’t meant to be any great social discussion. Nope just a lark, plain and simple.

Can assure you no Botoxed babes were harmed during the writing of it.

That said, I have been spouting off for too long, now it’s your turn to tell us what you really think about the RHOV thing.

As part of our own goodbye to show (I can’t lie, I will miss me some Jody) we are going to do a feature spread (running July 2) including thoughts from RHOV fans and or haters. Only a few rules apply: you have to tell us your name, watched the show, have some opinions , keep it clean and own a fur hat (just kidding about that last one).

So why do you like/hate the show?

Did it besmirch Vancouver’s reputation?

So which RHOV lady do you like the most?

Like the least?

Which one/ones do you think shouldn’t do the second season?

Got any favourite moments?

Email me at dgee@theprovince.com and have some fun….

My new BFF (that’s right I said it) has to be Real Housewives of Vancouver Unofficial After Show host and creator Kyle Archibald.

This guy is the bomb. Not only is he funny and not afraid to speak his mind (check out his show online) but his is fit too. Yes young Kyle was one of the many thousand lunatics that finished the Tough Mudder event this past weekend at Whistler

Kyle who was admittedly “feeling quite bad ass,” afterwards celebrated with cheese, fried egg, bacon pork burger.

But back to more serious stuff ,Kyle wants to be a talk show host, after all he does play one on the internet.

So not one to miss a beat the manager of Aphrodites Organic Cafe and Pie Shop in Kitsilano has thrown his hat into the ring in the contest to see who will fill the seat that Regis Philbin once held next to Kelly Ripa on the Live! show.

Since Reeg left (or as David Letterman keeps saying was fired) last fall Ripa has had a parade of different co-hosts come by and help out.

In fact her two gigs with Ben Mulroney supposedly helped the E! co-host land his new weekend ABC mornings gig.

Rippa a kingmaker? Why not.

Maybe Ripa will take a shine to another Canadian boy, and Kyle will get a shot at talk show fame. Hey weirder things have happened? Bethenny Frankel has a talk show after all.

Since June 11 viewers have submitted 60 second auditions. The deadline is June 29.

Five finalists will be on the July 16 show. The group will go through a series of games, stunts and other host-like activities, with one hopeful being eliminated each day.

The winner will get to co-host alongside Ripa on July 24.

And who knows they might end up like Ripa (who was chosen after Kathie Lee left the show a zillion years ago ) with a chair on the set and a star on a dressing room door.

You can check out Kyle’s audition at

dgee@theprovince.com

twitter.com/dana_gee

There should have been a round bell ringing tonight as The Real Housewives of Vancouver faced off in the the first of the two-part  reunion show punch up.
Now while there are five women sitting on the Orpheum stage with host and one of the show’s directors Mike Bickerton the majority of the verbal fisticuffs involved Mary Zilba and Jody Claman and Mary Zilba and Ronnie Seterdahl Negus.
“My job was to get to the truth and I’m not off the clock yet,” said Bickerton as the fun began.
Bickerton said a viewer wrote in to say that this cycle of the RH franchise was made up of the nastiest group of women ever.
“I’ve said this before it isn’t where you are from but you get a group if five women together there is going to be some issue,” said Mary.
And that’s where the spirit of group accountability ended.
Jody could hardly wait to weigh in and suggest that things got difficult because some of the women were not being their true selves. That they were playing women on TV.
“I was 150 per cent myself,” said Jody proving once and for all that truth really is a lot stranger than fiction. Yikes.
The reunion show followed the same routine that the other franchises do. Viewers wrote in with statements and questions and clip montages were shown.
Nothing new was revealed just more like certain things were re-affirmed. Like for instance Jody has no idea what the actual definition of a bully is.
“To watch what you did to Mia to make those allegations on national television is disgusting,” said Jody to Christina who admitted she did not have sex with Jody’s daughter Mia.
Jody (who weirdly was without fur or sunglasses) then crazily suggested that Christina was bullying poor, dear delicate flower Mia.
What the?
Cue Mary.
“I don’t know who you think you are,” said Mary before nodding her head towards Jody and saying. “She showed bullying at her finest.”
As for Ronnie and Mary’s friendship, well, let’s face facts that relationship has more ups and downs in it than Kim Kardashian’s  sex tape (sorry it’s reality TV, I can’t help myself).
“Where are things at right now,” asked Bickerton.
Um after 42 minutes of this show its clear things are in the dump.
It became apparent that this series and this show kicked open the door on seventeen years of “oh no you didn’t,” moments between the two women.
“It’s almost like a divorce, it’s very hard,” said Ronnie. “I love you.”
Then minutes later she accused Mary of hurting her poor 68-year-old mother’s feelings by saying that she Mary was raised to be nice.
For the other two housewives Christina Kiesel and Reiko MacKenzie it was pretty much smooth sailing. Sure they made fun of Christina’s sluttiness (oh the horror) and Bickerton brought up Reiko’s fancy birthday party for her husband and the recording of a song she did for him. But in a nice way.
Actually the best line of the night belonged to Bickerton when he asked Jody who she thought was a better singer Mary or Reiko? When Jody said they both had nice voices he laughed and said:
“It’s really a Sophie’s choice for you isn’t it,” said Bickerton referring to Jody’s issues with both Mary and Reiko.
Speaking of Sophie’s Choice Jody was given a clip montage of that reflected her Jewish background. Sure we all got some of the basic Yiddish terms and sayings but that Jewish sex comment still had everyone baffled. Even Ronnie and Christina who were married to Jewish men and in Christina’s case twice had no idea what the hell Jody was talking about.
“Don’t look too deeply it is just meant to be funny, light humour,” said Jody, who forgot I guess to mention it was also an inside joke?
While no one could clear up Jody’s Jewish sense of humour one thing did get sorted.
Yes Christina finally got down to business and addressed those nagging age questions as it seemed no one who watched this show believed she was only 31.
Now not being able to cut off one of her arms and count the rings we have to take Christina’s word that she was born on Aug. 10 1981.
“I lied a lot about my age when I was younger,” said Christina. “When you are 16 and your want a cocktail guess what you say you are 19 or 20.”
And that ladies and gentleman might have been the only complete truth spoken all night.

Part two of the reunion show will be aired next Wednesday July 4.
dgee@theprovince.com
twitter.com/dana_gee

So there you go the first season of the Slice hit The Real Housewives of Vancouver ended like it started with Jody Claman’s mean girl act taking  centre stage.
The tiny terror from West Van (via Merritt) once again drummed up attention of the controversial kind.

First she battled with Reiko MacKenzie over the alleged over charging of a bill at her boutique.
The two went back-and-forth. Reiko came loaded with paper work. Jody brought a fake accent, eye rolling and name calling with her.
But Jody’s big move during part 2 of the reunion show special was a familiar one: she served alleged legal papers to both Mary Zilba and Christina Kiesel. Looking like the Dowager Countess from Downtown Abbey Jody crossed the stage at the Orpheum Theatre and dropped envelopes in the laps of her cast mates. Neither one would touch the papers.
Yes she is still choked that Mary said Jody’s West Van boutique sold second-hand goods.
No way says Jody, her  goods are vintage, meaning 30 years old or older. She claims her store’s reputation has been besmirched or maybe in Jody’s unique lexicon the store’s reputation was actually bejeweled? Either way she claimed clients have come in upset about the not-so-new allegations. I think she really felt “jousted,” by the situation.
“Everything in my store is brand new. You girls are disgusting. You lay on your back to make an income,” Jody said to Christina who told her to shut up.
Oh okay let me get this straight you can’t suggest vintage goods have actually been used before but it is okay to intonate that someone is a prostitute?
Well once again Jody does say it best:
“It’s my land I told you,” she said. “I live in my own bubble.”
After the hooker comment to Christina the flood gates opened and the couch with Christina, Mary and Reiko chimed in with a chorus of Jody slams.
“You do not empower women you bring them down,” said Mary.
“Go f$%k yourself,” said Christina.
But of course Jody being Jody she didn’t blink. No surprise.
Other action in the show included a weird opening where host/director Mike Bickerton got some of the women to tell us how much they have spent shopping recently. Who cares.
There was also the prerequisite boring Reiko bit. You know talk about fitness, clips of her driving fancy cars blah, blah, blah.
Oh but just when you thought Reiko spent all her time at the gym and the gas station fresh news is she is putting together some sort of fitness, lifestyle, cooking and advice book thingy.
This of course lead Jody to roll her eyes again and suggest Reiko didn’t even know how to cook.  Because you know Jody is a chef after all.
Offering a break from the bickering was a visit from everyone’s favourite boozy gay sidekick Kevin Chase. Really, for season two I say dump a housewife and put Kevin on full time. He is funny and quick witted. Actually he and Christina should just have their own reality show. Call it Kevin and Christina: Let’s do Drunch?
It’s funny after last week’s show Ronnie Seterdahl Negus’s tweeted that she wasn’t happy that she had to share a couch with Jody.
Here’s what she tweeted:
“Really sh$%tty on Larks Part to NOT air the REAL reason I was sitting next to JODY. ”
“A%&holes and I’m sick of MY LIFE being Dicked around with 4 their Ratings!”
“I would like @larkTV Productions to Tell the world why they sat me next to Jody AND why I was Really talking to her now!”
With that in mind I kept a keen eye on Ronnie as I looked for some good uncomfortable body language. Huh, funny thing was what we got instead was Ronnie complimenting Jody’s outfit and then thanking her for having her back during the show.
“I’m a business person I can see who is good and who is bad,” said Jody referring to Ronnie’s new found support of Jody.
That’s what I love about these housewives,  short memories. Must come in handy and help make everyday seem new.
Aside from their love of Jody Ronnie and Jody also shared that they both had a daughter that had a health issue after the show finished taping.
Ronnie’s young daughter Remy almost choked to death and Jody’s daughter Mia had a nose job go bad.
“Remington did not take one breath for 22 minutes,” said Ronnie, crying.
“It will be really good or really ugly,” Jody said the doctors told her after Mia’s nose got infected.
You know what, I’ll let you you sort those in order of importance.
So there you go the first season is done and it was a hit. People certainly talked about it a lot.
I know after 14 weeks of watching and writing about it I have come away with all sorts of information. Yes you could call this a learning experience.
I learned that I am never going to inject anything into my lips. I learned I am never sewing and or glueing extra hair onto my head or my eyelids. I learned I would never, ever feel the urge to spend five figures on luggage that was the same make as my car.
Oh and I learned once again that women really aren’t the best pack animals.
Actually that hairdressing raconteur Kevin really summed that last part up best:
“I’d say unless you are playing a game of bridge any group of women more than four and you are walking into a lion’s den.”
He’s hairdresser, he should know.
dgee@theprovince.com
twitter.com/dana_gee

So just hours after the Real Housewives of Vancouver reunion show ended and the first season of the hit series officially wrapped rumours started swirling about season two of  the Slice show.

The buzz is it begins shooting July 9 and kicks off with a party hosted by Ronnie Seterdahl Negus (the only RHOV cast member during part 2 of the reunion show who made it clear she would be returning ).

I don’t know about you but I had some questions after the reunion show curtain dropped. Like is Ronnie actually friends with Jody Claman? Will Jody carry “legal” papers with her everywhere she goes just in case she runs into Mary Zilba? And what kind of fur accoutrement does a Claman wear to a summer party? Oh and of course  who is in and who is out?

Now it’s been a not so little secret that Christina Kiesel is out for season 2. But who else is hanging up their wireless mic pac?

Well word is Reiko MacKenzie, she of the fast cars, fit body and fabulous wardrobe will not be back at the RHOV party.

Poor Mary, there goes an ally and one that could literally have her back.

Why is Reiko going? Who knows? On paper she looks great (alleged ex gangster for a husband, five-inch heels, fake boobs, bleached-blonde hair and the ability to kick a cup off the top of a fridge) but in real life I think maybe Reiko was just too darn nice for this show. I know, what does that say about our  society, huh?

Seriously if viewers are the gauge I can tell you I recieved plenty of tweets and emails about this show and two of the most common themes were  Jody is a jerk and Reiko is classy.

As for Reiko’s response to this rumour, and for that matter anything to do with the show, you are going to have to wait until I guess the non-disclosure agreement she signed runs out.

I contacted her PR types (yes they all have them now) and they said Reiko can’t talk RHOV.

But we can, right?

dgee@theprovince.com

twitter.com/dana_gee

Style for style, last night’s Vancouver Fashion Week opening gala was a huge success as Vancouverites dressed to impress and packed the Chinese Cultural Centre. Designers provided the audience with a taste for what’s to come this week, and it was nothing short of a visual feast for fashionistas hungry for spring/summer 2014 trends.

The evening started with a touching, tear-inducing tribute to legendary fashion editor, Virginia Leeming. Virginia is sadly no longer with us but you know she was there in spirit, pen and pad in hand jostling down notes for another fashion article. Virginia was with The Vancouver Sun for 20 years. Her friends and colleagues were on hand to pay homage.

I must confess to having what I can only describe as social ADD; my eyes darting every which way to every corner of the cavernous room. If you happened to be in attendance then you know why: celebrities, photographers, fashion editors and philanthropists filled the joint. I spotted a few cast members from the Real Housewives of Vancouver sitting front row (where else?): Ronnie Seterdahl-Negus, Reiko Mackenzie and Mary Zilba all looked tres chic while taking in the runway show.

Drinks flowed thanks to ABSOLUT, Vancouver Fashion Week’s official spirit sponsor. Don Francesco’s kept everyone’s taste buds in check with mouth-watering canapés and other hors d’oeuvre. You can’t have a soiree without savoury food and libations!

But the night belonged to the designers. Fashion Week is their time to shine and I watched breathlessly as they sent their sartorial works of art down the catwalk. Sara Roka, Evan Clayton, Drew Kessler of No Label Society Club, Angela Huang, Kristina Banden and Valerio Moda (whose design is featured) were just a few of the designers giving a sneak peek to an enthusiastic crowd.

So much to take in and that was just the opening gala. Tonight the real show begins. Please join us at The Chinese Cultural Centre for the start of VFW SS14. See you on the runway!

For the Full VFW schedule check out my previous post here.

Official Hashtag: #vanfashionweek

Vancouver Fashion Week SS2014

Chinese Cultural Centre

50 East Pender Street

doors open: 4:30pm

show: 5:00pm

Follow us on Twitter for real-time coverage

@VanFashionWeek

@MarkAbbott604

@Tracey_Niche